Three Compositions

Among the 100 or so compositions on the 3rd mock exam which I graded, the following three are the best.  They are the originals, without any modifications by me.  I requested my dear colleague Melody (陳美麗老師) to read and grade them.  She gave them the same grades as I did. 

Writing task: 你是否可曾想過十年後你想要成為怎樣的一個人，做著什麼樣的事，過著什麼樣的人生？請以此主題寫作一篇作文。第一段，請描述理想中的你，十年後正在作什麼樣的事；第二段，請寫下你實現理想可能的步驟與規劃。

 1.

Walking along the beautiful river in Paris on Monday, Watching a Broadway show in U.S on Tuesday, and on Wednesday I shall be shopping happily in Hong Kong.  I would like to be a traveler ten years later.  Being a traveler, I will be able to see many spectacular scenes, meet different kinds of people and know more about other cultures.

   To realize my dream, I should first learn more languages.  Without the ability to communicate, I won’t be able to know what the locals are talking about and therefore won’t gain anything during my trip.  And I will start to save money right now, because traveling around the world may cost lots of money.    (115 words)  (score: 13)  (314 胡靜, Gina)

 

2.   

Ten years after, I hope I will have become the boss of a travel company.  At that time, I won’t have to earn money by myself because my employees will take care of it. What I have to do is travel around the world and do whatever I want to, whether it is meeting my friends in Antartic, drinking coffee in France or chatting with my teacher in Standford.  My life will be colorful and of great fulness.

   In order to achieve this goal, I will take the following steps.  To begin with, what I need to do now is study as hard as I can to get into a good college, where I will meet a variety of people.  Second, I will finish all my studies in five years and meanwhile earn enough money for me to travel and open a company.  Then, after graduation, traveling around, I will collect an abundant of spectacular pictures and record many different routes.  All these trip must be done in three years.  Finally I will open a travel company, which will help a lot people to escape from pressure of life and will make a huge fortune.  Then, after experiencing so many things, I will achieve self-fulfillment and will not live in vain.   (211 words)  (grade: 15) (314 簡喬, Joel)

 

3.

 

   Ten years later, I hope that I will be a very successful women.  I am a office lady with confidence of myself and I can deal with the jobs so well.  I will be promoted because of my excellent working ability.  I will really enjoy my life to the full.  Despite of difficulties, I never give up and I can always find solutions.  I will spend my leisure time with my family and friends.  Chatting with them is the best way to relax. 

   In order to reach my goal. There are many steps I should take from now on.  I have to train myself not to be afraid of failure.  I need to have great language ability such as English and Japanese.  I also have to cultivate my social skills.  I know there will be many obstacles in the future but I will never give up.  By keep learning and training myself, I can reach my dream everyday.  (158 words) (grade: 13)  (author: unknown)