2010年8月28日 星期六

Smile--洪蘭:台灣人的微笑 怎麼不見了?

http://udn.com/NEWS/OPINION/OPI4/5813791.shtml

洪蘭:台灣人的微笑 怎麼不見了?
【聯合報╱洪蘭】

2010.08.28 03:32 am 

朋友的孩子回台參加華語夏令營,結束要返美了,我帶她去鼎泰豐吃她最愛的小籠包,在等待座位時,我問她:台灣社會給她最深的印象是什麼?她想了一下說:台灣人總是匆匆忙忙不肯禮讓,而且「不愛微笑」,她加重語氣說,就是同棟大樓、同搭電梯都不打招呼。

My comments: I always greet my neighbors with a smile. em28

這孩子果然觀察入微,我剛回台時,早上碰到人會習慣性的微笑打招呼,結果有人瞪我白眼、有人罵我白痴、有人說我自作多情。幾次以後就改掉了這個習慣,但是總是覺得遺憾,因為心情會影響工作情緒,見面打招呼是文明社會的基本禮貌,我們不敢要求像祖魯人那樣說「我看見你了」,對方回答說「我在這裡」,這種患難相助的問候,但是起碼的點點頭,釋放出善意也不算是要求過分。

My comments: Ms. Hung, I would return you a broad smile. I'm a little luckier because my smile is usually appreciated.

先不說同舟共渡是五百年修的緣,微笑其實是對自己好,尤其反覆的微笑可以使壞心情變好。有個實驗請受試者把鉛筆咬在嘴中,然後做出憤怒的表情,結果發現很難,因為嘴角朝上了,怒氣就上不來了。麥當勞要求他的員工微笑是有道理的。有實驗證明情緒其實是認知的解釋和評估(這叫做「情緒的認知激發理論」)。孩子摔跤後會先看一下有沒有大人在,如果沒有,他就會自己爬起來,要哭也是一二聲而已,因為他的認知會告訴他哭沒用,沒人在乎,他就不痛了。

My comments: Family education plays an important role. If kids never or seldom see smile at home, they are very likely to have a poker face.

微笑可以刺激大腦迴路、強化人際關係,增加跟別人的互動,而且微笑時全世界會跟著你笑(記得那個啤酒廣告嗎?)人在看到一張微笑的臉時,會不由自主的跟著微笑,因為笑使人安心。達爾文發現天生眼盲,從來不曾見過人笑的孩子,高興時也是張著嘴笑。相反的,皺眉會激發憤怒、厭惡的感覺,甚至只要看到皺眉的臉,心情就不好起來,警戒心也馬上出來。

My comments: Then, the kids I mentioned above learn not to smile from their parents.

在演化上,爭先恐後是本能,看到食物自然要爭先,多吃一口,多活一天,遇見敵人當然不能落後,一落單就沒命了。人處在食物鏈的下端,是沒有安全感的,因此人非常注意周遭環境的變化。

有一個實驗說明了人如何容易受到環境的暗示:這個實驗做了41位大學生,約他們在實驗大樓門口見面,免得他們找不到地方,在電梯裡,實驗者隨意把一杯熱咖啡交給受試者,請他幫忙拿一下,他好掏鑰匙(另一半拿的是冰咖啡)。進到實驗室後,給他們看一個陌生人的履歷,請他們就自傳評估那個人是否聰明、勤勞、務實、謹慎。然後再給他們問卷,評估那個人的人格特質是否外向、害羞等等。結果發現拿熱咖啡的人給別人比較正向的評價。做完實驗後他們可以選一個禮品送給朋友或自己,結果拿熱咖啡的比較傾向送給朋友。這實驗讓我們看到一點點溫暖的感覺就會影響我們對別人的態度

My comments: I don't quite get it. Why did Ms. Hung say the other half of the 41 students had iced coffee in their hands, since only one of the 41 had the hot coffee? But this experiment is interesting.

微笑使人產生安全舒適溫暖的感覺,而這感覺使自己變得更慷慨、更值得信賴,在美好的一天開始時,微笑一下吧

My comments: I always smile the moment I open my eyes to greet the dawn.

(作者為中央大學認知神經科學研究所所長)
My comments: I love the song "Smile" in Charlie Chaplin's movie Modern Times (words

by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons and music by Charlie Chaplin).

Smile

 

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

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