A Picture Story--a Writing Sample for the 3rd Mock Exam

The following is an English essay written for the 3rd mock exam. I gave it a 17. If you haven't seen the four pictures on the test, you can try reproducing the first three pictures after reading the essay, leaving the fourth frame blank with a quetion mark inside. Quite a challenge!

It was such a beautiful day despite the fact that it was raining outside. I was on my way to work, and everything seemed to be perfect. Nevertheless, a strong gust of wind changed my thought immediately. My lovely and only umbrella had just broken due to the severe wind. I was helpless on the spot, but didn’t want to be soaking wet and then be scolded by my strict boss. Consequently, with only a purse on my hand, I didn’t care about whether it was a brand-name collection or not, I just held it up high and onto my head so as to block the heavy rain. “It was only ten blocks away,” I tried to comfort myself. Then, I crossed the street with all my mind thinking about if my stern boss would be furious at me or not; therefore, I didn’t pay attention to the people on the crosswalk. “Bang!” A loud sound woke me up from my thinking. I was embarrassed and didn’t force myself to look who it was. My face turned red, and my heartbeat quicken. I didn’t dare to look at the person at all.

Then a masculine voice shocked me. The guy politely asked if I was okay. I said “Yes!” and was about to leave the embarrassing sight. He then quickly added if he could walk me to wherever I was heading. I slightly nodded. As we arrived at my work, I thanked him sincerely for what he had done, and he told me he just loved to help people.

I was grateful and moved, and from then on, I decided to help others as long as I could. Thanks to him, I learned a great lesson fo life which had benefited myself a lot ever since then. (297 words)  (Score: 17)