2012 SAT Good Writing Pieces

Today CEEC posted good Chinese and English writing pieces on its website.  The other day a colleague told me a classmate of her daughter's got a phone call from CEEC, asking her permission to post her essay on its website.  The student got a 19.5 out of 20.  

http://www.ceec.edu.tw/GoodWritingPieces/101SatGoodWritingPieces/101學測國英佳作.htm

101學年度學科能力測驗
國文考科及英文考科作文佳作

Writng task:

提示︰你最好的朋友最近迷上電玩，因此常常熬夜，疏忽課業，並受到父母的責罵。你（英
文名字必須假設為Jack 或Jill）打算寫一封信給他/她（英文名字必須假設為Ken
或Barbie），適當地給予勸告。
請注意：必須使用上述的Jack或Jill在信末署名，不得使用自己的真實中文或英文名字。



The following is the first one of the good English writing pieces with its comments: 

Dear Ken,         How have you been doing lately?  I have been quite busy and pressured lately because the college entrance exam is weeks away and we are entering the final countdown.  After all, the exam may influence us for a lifetime, and I have no desire to get a poor grade.     But what about you, Ken?  I'm quite concerned about you because your mother told me that you have been playing computer games for long hours and neglecting your studies.  I understand that the pressure is intense for us third graders, and I cannot deny the fact that video games are fun and are a great respite from the stress we face.  However, the clock is ticking, and you cannot afford to waste time on games when the test is already around the corner.         Besides, staying up late staring at the computer screen is harmful for both your eyes and the rest of your body.  Your eyesight will deteriorate, and your sleep patterns will be disrupted.  These may cause disease in the long run.     Furthermore, it seems that the atmosphere in your family is getting tense because you often argue with your parents over this.  Family members should live together in harmony instead of conflict, and you are causing conflict by refusing to study.  It is another reason why I strongly suggest you to stop.     Also, think about the fun you’ll get in college!  You will have much more free time to do as you wish.  You can play computer games as long as you want to!  Therefore, it is essential that you study hard now, and get into a good college.  If you keep playing video games before the test, you may do poorly, and it would result in one more year of agony and pressure.  Do not give up the chance of a year’s worth of fun in exchange for a few weeks of entertainment .     In a nutshell, I strongly believe that it would be appropriate for you to stop playing games, and concentrate on studying.                                                                     Yours sincerely,                                                                     Jack

(342 words)

一、本文說明自己以即將面臨的大考為重，並關心好友因沉迷電玩而疏忽功課，信中充分表達出同理心，了解面臨壓力時電玩確能紓壓，但仍提醒好友大考將近，且沉迷電玩影響健康及破壞家人之間的和諧，應儘快戒除沉迷電玩的惡習。

二、內容切合主題，層次分明，流暢連貫。