5 Tips for Teaching the Tough Kids
May 19, 2014
Every teacher remembers his or her first "tough kid" experience. Maybe the student ignored your directions or laughed at your attempts to utilize the classroom discipline steps. We all have at least one story to share, and for some teachers, teaching a tough kid is a daily challenge. It seems that no matter what teaching techniques you try to pull out of your educator hat, nothing changes their behavior.
My comments: I tried my best, but didn't panic if I couldn't change them.
I've had the privilege of teaching some tough kids. I say "privilege" for a reason. Teaching these students pushed me to be a better educator and a more compassionate person. I've detailed below five methods that have reduced misbehavior in my classroom and, better still, helped transform these students into leaders among their peers.
1. Set the Tone
I firmly believe that a student's misbehavior in the past does not necessarily equate to future indiscretions. At the beginning of the school year, I would walk down to the sixth grade teachers with my new class lists and ask questions. I would inquire about who works well together, who probably should not sit next to each other, and who caused them the most grief. Not surprisingly, teachers would share the names of the same students that were their "tough kids." If I had the privilege of having any of these students in my class, I looked forward to it instead of dreading it.
My comments: Great attitude!
Usually during the first week of school, I would try to have individual conferences with these tough kids. I'd take this as an opportunity to clear the air and wipe the slate clean. Often, these students can feel disrespected because their teachers already have preconceived ideas about how they are the troublemakers. Explain that you respect them and have high expectations for them this year. Lay the foundation for the student's understanding that you believe in him or her, because you might be the only one who genuinely does.
My comments: This must be done carefully; otherwise, these tough kids might hold grudge against their former teachers or think they have been betrayed.
2. Be a Mentor
Unfortunately, it has been my experience that some of the toughest kids to teach come from very difficult home situations. Inconsistent housing, absentee parent(s), lack of resources, and violence are only a few examples of what some of these students have to face every day. Kids that are neglected at home can act out in school to receive attention, good or bad. They want someone to notice them and take an interest in their lives.
Don’t forget how important you are in helping your students develop not just academically, but also socially. Make an effort to show you care about them, not just their grades. Be proactive instead of reactive. The key to being a good mentor is to be positive, available, and trustworthy. One year with a great mentor can have a lasting, positive impact on a tough kid's life.
My comments: A good teacher lights up many lives.
3. Make Connections
Part of being a great mentor is your ability to make connections with these tough kids. Since these students sometimes don't have anyone encouraging them or taking an interest in their lives, have a real conversation about their future or dreams. If they have nothing to share, start talking about their interests -- sports, music, movies, food, clothing, friends, siblings, etc. Find a way to connect so that they can relate to you. Start off small and show a genuine interest in what they have to say. Once you've made a positive connection and the student can trust you, you'd be surprised how fast they might open up to talking about their hopes, fears, home life, etc. This is when you need to exercise professional discretion and be prepared for what the student might bring up. Explain that you do not want to violate his or her trust but that, as an educator, you are required by law to report certain things.
4. Take it Personally (In a Good Way)
Teachers need to have thick skin. Students may say things in an attempt to bruise your ego or question your teaching abilities. Remember, we are working with young children and developing adults. I'm sure you said some hurtful things that you didn't mean when you were growing up. Students can say things out of frustration or boredom, or that are triggered by problems spilling over from outside of your classroom. Try to deal with their misbehavior in the classroom -- they might not take you seriously if you just send them to the office every time they act out. These are the moments when they need a positive mentor the most.
Once trust has been established, remind these students that you believe in them even if they make a mistake. I've vouched for kids during grade team meetings only to have them get into a fight at lunch the same day. They make mistakes, just like we all do. It's how we respond to their slip-ups that will determine if they'll continue to trust us. Explain that you're disappointed in their actions and that you know they can do better. Don't write them off. Tough kids are used to being dismissed as hopeless. Instead, show them that you care and are willing to work with them. Helping a tough kid overcome personal issues isn't something that happens overnight, but it is a worthwhile investment in his or her future.
5. Expect Anything and Everything!
All of our students come from a variety of cultures, nationalities, and home environments, and these five techniques that have worked for me might barely scratch the surface of how you interact with the tough kids in your classroom. If you have another method that has helped you reach out and connect to a tough kid, please share it below in the comments section.
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The Chinese version:
http://mag.udn.com/mag/edu/storypage.jsp?f_ART_ID=516925
溝通力／五招擺平 難搞的學生
好讀周報2014/06/04
【聯合報╱翻譯／馮克芸】
文／Josh Work（美國馬里蘭州中學教師）
每個老師都會記得初次碰到「難搞的學生」時的經驗，他可能對老師的指示不理不睬，或在老師祭出班規時嘲笑老師，我們多多少都有諸如此類的故事可供分享。對某些老師而言，擺平難搞的學每個老師都會記得初次碰到「難搞的學生」時的經驗，他可能對老師的指示不理不睬，或在老師祭出班規時嘲笑老師，我們多多少都有諸如此類的故事可供分享。對某些老師而言，擺平難搞的學生是日復一日的挑戰，似乎無論你從教學百寶箱裡掏出什麼技巧，難搞孩子的行為始終如一。
我有幸教過一些難搞的學生。之所以說「有幸」，是因為教到這種學生促使我成為更好的老師，且成為更慈悲的人。以下就是我減少班上違規行為的五個辦法，更有甚者，這些辦法有助於把難搞的學生變成學生領袖。
一、定調
我堅信，學生過去違規不必然等於未來一定有失檢點。我在學年之初，會帶著我七年級新班的學生名單，找六年級老師問一問。我會問哪個學生跟別的同學處得好，哪些學生可能不應該坐在隔壁，還有哪些學生給老師帶來最多痛苦。並不令人意外的是，許多老師跟我分享的，都是同一批「難搞孩子」的名單。如果我的班有幸出現難搞名單上的人，我的心情會是期待，而非擔心懼怕。
通常在開學第一周內，我會嘗試跟難搞的學生個別談話，把這項談話當作盡棄前嫌的機會。難搞的學生多半會覺得不受尊重，因為老師已對於他們如何調皮搗蛋有了成見。你要向他們解釋，你尊重他們，在新學年對他們有很高的期望。你要打個底，讓學生知道你相信他，因為你可能是唯一真正相信他的人。
二、作良師益友
根據我的經驗，有些最難教的學生不幸來自問題嚴重的家庭。居無定所、單親或雙親缺席、缺乏資源、家暴，都只是舉其一隅而已，部分學生每天都面臨這些。在家受忽略的孩子就會在校或好或壞地出格，博取關注。他們希望有人注意，有人對他們的生活感興趣。
別忘了，在協助學生把書讀好、建立良好人際關係上，老師是多麼重要。請努力展現你關懷那些難搞的學生，而不是關切他們的成績。不要被動回應，請主動出擊。良師益友的關鍵是凡事往好處看、隨時陪伴、值得信賴。優秀的良師益友陪上一年，對難搞孩子的人生會有久遠而正向的影響。
三、建立關係
作為優秀的良師益友，你必備的能力之一，是與這些難搞的孩子建立關係。因為這些學生有時乏人鼓勵，或沒有人對他們的生活感興趣，請針對他們的未來或夢想，與他們懇切對話。如果他們沒什麼事與你分享，就從他們感興趣的事開始聊……運動、音樂、電影、食物、服飾、朋友、手足等。請找到辦法跟這些孩子建立關係，如此他們會接受你、親近你。從小事開始，展現你對他們所談的內容真心感興趣。一旦你建立了正向關係，難搞的學生信任你，你會很驚訝他們會迅速敞開心房，談論自己的希望、恐懼、家庭生活等。這是你需要發揮專業判斷的時候，請為學生可能提起之事做好準備。向他們說明，你不想背棄他們對你的信任，但作為老師，你依法必須通報某些事。
四、推己及人
老師需要厚臉皮。學生可能會說一些話，企圖挫傷你的自尊心，或質疑你的教學能力。請記得，我們是在提攜年輕的孩子、發展中的成年人。我確信你曾說過一些你長大後就不會想說的傷人言話。學生會出於挫折、無聊或一些教室外的問題而出言不遜。請努力處置他們在教室內的違規行為，如果每次他們不守規矩，你只是把他們送到老師辦公室去隔離冷靜，他們可能不把你當一回事。這種時候是你最需要扮演良師益友的時刻。
一旦建立了信任，提醒這些學生，就算他們犯了錯，你也相信他們。我曾向一群孩子保證我相信他們，結果當天午餐時他們就打架。他們就跟我們每個人一樣，都會犯錯。我們回應他們犯錯的方式，決定了他們是否繼續信任我們。請向他們解釋，你對他們的行為失望，你知道他們可以更進步。不要放棄他們。難搞的孩子一向被斥為無可救藥，你要反其道而行，向他們展現你在乎他們，願意跟他們一起努力。協助難搞的孩子克服他們的各種私人問題，並非一蹴可幾之事，但他們的未來值得投資。
五、兼容並蓄
我們的學生來自不同的文化、國籍和家庭環境，上述五招對我而言有效，對你與你班上難搞孩子的互動而言，卻說不定是一偏之見。若你有其他辦法，曾有助你伸出手與難搞的孩子建立關係，也請與我分享。
原文：http://goo.gl/Z8UHEs
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