more model compositions

The following are three compositions. There is still room for improvement; however, they are among the best.

Yesterday was my seventeenth birthday. To my delight, I finally got a pet dog which I had been eager for long as a birthday present from my parents. I couldn’t wait to walk my new lovely pet dog at the park near my home right after my birthday party. On the way to the park, I decided to name my dog Fatty, due to its round face and plump figure. As soon as Fatty and I arrived at the park, everyone who saw it couldn’t take their eyes off it, because it was so cute. I was so proud and glad that I could own it. Later, I unleashed Fatty to let it play around. After a while, as I turned around, I suddenly found that Fatty was gone. I nervously looked for it everywhere in the park but couldn’t find it. Finally, I went home sadly and was afraid that my mom would blame me for my carelessness. As I approached the front door, I was surprised to see Fatty waiting for me by the door. What a bittersweet day! (181 words) (Score: 14/20)

2.

John had an unforgettable birthday party, because he received a lovely dog from his parents. He liked it very much and decided to give it a cute name, Lucy.

The next day, a picture-perfect day, John went out to walk the dog. With the breeze blowing, John wandered around and relished the moment. Everything seemed to go very smoothly until John found that Lucy had disappeared. Feeling worried, John picked up the dog chain and started looking for Lucy. With time zipping by, John could not find anything. He was so sorrowful that he could not help but cry loudly.

On arriving home, much to John’s surprise, he found Lucy waiting for him at the door. Happily, John gave Lucy a hug and stroked it gently. They sat together on the ground, enjoying the blooming flowers in the garden. (139 words) (Score: 14/20)

3.

On my birthday, I got a cute puppy from my mom. I was very glad to get the most fantastic gift and I decided to take good care of the puppy. I bought a lot of things for the puppy, like some cozy cushions, a beautiful doghouse, and some bones for dogs. I took it for a walk and for some outdoor activities every day.

One afternoon, I walked my dog as usual. When we were in the park, I met the girl I liked. Unfortunately, she was afraid of dogs. As she saw my puppy, she screamed with fear and ran away. To approach that girl, I put my puppy on the bench and went to talk with the girl. When I came back happily, I found the puppy gone! The only thing I could find was its collar. I cried helplessly and waited in the park, hoping my puppy would come back soon. I sat there for eight hours and the puppy still didn’t show up. The sky was dark, and I could do nothing but go home to tell Mom the truth. When I arrived home feeling depressed, I couldn’t believe my eyes! My puppy was waiting for me on the door steps, wagging its tail happily. I kissed it and apologized to it, promising that I would never leave it alone. (225 words) (Score: 14/20)