Even more model compositions

Here are two more compositions which got 14.

1.

Peter got his dream puppy on his fifth birthday. Peter gently hugged it and promised his parents that he would take good care of it. One day, Peter took his dog to the park. Happily playing with other children, Peter almost forgot his dog. When the sky turned dark and all children left the park, Peter remembered his dog and began to look for it. However, he didn't find any trace of his dog. Peter rushed home and felt regret for not having leashed the dog. On his way home, he couldn't stop crying while thinking that he would never see his dog again.

Surprisingly, when Peter got home, he saw the dog waiting for him. What a smart dog it was! The tears of worry turned into tears of joy. Holding the dog tight in arms, Peter determined that he would never neglect it again. (146 words) (Score: 14)

Comment: If the student had given the dog a name, she would not have had to repeat the word "dog" again and again.

2.

Yesterday was my tenth birthday. My parents held a party for me. I got lots of gifts from my friends and relatives. Among them, I liked the one given by my dad, which was a lovely puppy. I named it Lucky. After the party, I immediately took Lucky for a walk in the part, eager to show it to all the people. In the park, I met my classmate. I started chatting with him happily. After a while, I turned around deciding to take Lucky home. To my surprise, I found it was gone. There was only Lucky’s collar left on the ground. I hurriedly looked around the park. Unfortunately, I still couldn’t find Lucky.

Looking at Lucky’s collar, I felt remorseful for my carelessness. I walked home with tears in my eyes. At the thought of losing my cute pet, I felt much sadder. As I walked near my home, I heard a familiar bark. I ran to see what was barking. To my delight, it was Lucky, wagging his tail. I quickly hugged him in my arms and secretly swore that I would cherish Lucky more carefully. (189 words) (Score: 14)